May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer. Psalm 19:14
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Pondering Life's "Mysteries"
People say God works in mysterious ways, but I don't think he does. I think that's just a phrase that's been coined because it sounds nice and it's a good excuse to use for not noticing the unfathomable greatness that he is and does. I think God works in very meticulous, diligent, calculated ways and if it seems mysterious to me then I'm not spending enough time with him. True, God doesn't always tap you on the shoulder and explain to you word for word what he's doing up there (and down here... and everywhere). But at the same time, I can't allow myself to think that he doesn't. God is omnicient. I'm not. Therefore, of course, I won't understand everything he does (which I guess you could say makes it mysterious) however I do believe that if you walk in a close relationship with him then you will see the beauty of what he's doing around you and within you. I know if you allow yourself to be vulnerable to him and be willing to listen long enough (meaning all the time) then you can see that things aren't just a lucky coincidence. Ever. I think I'm rambling on and after all of this random insight into my own understanding of this, I think it is true. God works in mysterious ways. But that doesn't mean we're just completely blind to everything around us and we'll never know what the heck is going on. There's a lot of things we'll never understand (and I praise God for my limited understanding and resulting dependence on Him). His works are mysterious in this way: we have limited comprehension. It's not inexplicable. The explanation is: God's will, timing, and plan is perfect. The only thing mysterious about that is how he can love us so much despite our faults. Despite my faults, He LOVES me more than I could fathom or explain. It doesn't matter how. What matters is that He does, and as a result He sent His son, and through Him I am redeemed. I am set free. And I have the glorious privilege to put my faith in his "mysterious" works in my life and the lives of the beautiful people around me.
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Free Indeed
The scariest realization is that when I stumble, I don't just simply
trip and continue walking;
I fall flat on my face and take my sweet time getting up and moving forward.
Everyone's moving forward.
And I'm left alone, wondering what's around the corner
Continuing to ignore and torture the cornerstone
I should be leaning and depending on.
As if You were a something, an object, I could just ignore and pretend You're not there
When I know all too well You are like my air
But I turn to You like You're just some numbered page in a journal
I can flip back and forth as if You're not eternal
And internal is where I keep Your word.
It's like it got lost somewhere in the crawlspaces, or in the shadows
And my vision is blurred as if Your word was unheard
But I heard it! I know it! It's there,
Somewhere inside I just don't know where
Because these lies inside scream and tear
Away at the progress that I've made there.
Why can't I just talk to You? After all that we've been through
As if all of a sudden You would disappear too... But that's not true
I KNOW YOU and Your word is the truth and Your word is You.
So what am I turning to? God. Is it you?
Because I'm looking around me now and from my view
This air is a completely different hue
It's a gray color and it's too thick to see through.
I'm too sick to pull through without You.
So why would I even try?
It's absolutely ridiculous to think that I could accomplish anything
Without You by my side.
No! Not just by my side, but with You as my guide
God I need to put You first in everything I do
And that includes striving to be closer to You
That includes resisting temptation and gaining back my foundation
And if I feel further away from You, I know it's not You who moved.
So how did I end up in this place?
After all that we've faced
I still fell behind and instead of moving past that old path my steps were retraced.
I don't know how I got here
That slow fade can be very unclear.
You justify little things here and there
Until you look back and realize you're off in some place you never intended to be.
I don't want that to be me.
That night I decided to fix things,
More importantly I decided to let God fix things,
To pick me up and begin healing
The mess I allowed the enemy to leave bleeding.
I hit my knees, pleading for God to come in and help me turn back around
I want help... but maybe tomorrow, just not right now
But that ground disappeared beneath me
And I knew my demons wouldn't just release me
The battle isn't between flesh and blood
It's against the forces that drag me through the mud
I'm tired of letting myself get dragged down
But I know I've just got to open my eyes and see the ground
And when that light appeared, he began screaming.
My soul is SO DONE with just dreaming
About the potential victory that will redeem me
God, please, make it a reality.
Save me from myself, because I'm my own worst enemy
Stop the nightmares, stop the dreaming
Because God I just want to let you free me.
Set me free from the chains that are holding me
Jesus, please, rescue me.
I fall flat on my face and take my sweet time getting up and moving forward.
Everyone's moving forward.
And I'm left alone, wondering what's around the corner
Continuing to ignore and torture the cornerstone
I should be leaning and depending on.
As if You were a something, an object, I could just ignore and pretend You're not there
When I know all too well You are like my air
But I turn to You like You're just some numbered page in a journal
I can flip back and forth as if You're not eternal
And internal is where I keep Your word.
It's like it got lost somewhere in the crawlspaces, or in the shadows
And my vision is blurred as if Your word was unheard
But I heard it! I know it! It's there,
Somewhere inside I just don't know where
Because these lies inside scream and tear
Away at the progress that I've made there.
Why can't I just talk to You? After all that we've been through
As if all of a sudden You would disappear too... But that's not true
I KNOW YOU and Your word is the truth and Your word is You.
So what am I turning to? God. Is it you?
Because I'm looking around me now and from my view
This air is a completely different hue
It's a gray color and it's too thick to see through.
I'm too sick to pull through without You.
So why would I even try?
It's absolutely ridiculous to think that I could accomplish anything
Without You by my side.
No! Not just by my side, but with You as my guide
God I need to put You first in everything I do
And that includes striving to be closer to You
That includes resisting temptation and gaining back my foundation
And if I feel further away from You, I know it's not You who moved.
So how did I end up in this place?
After all that we've faced
I still fell behind and instead of moving past that old path my steps were retraced.
I don't know how I got here
That slow fade can be very unclear.
You justify little things here and there
Until you look back and realize you're off in some place you never intended to be.
I don't want that to be me.
That night I decided to fix things,
More importantly I decided to let God fix things,
To pick me up and begin healing
The mess I allowed the enemy to leave bleeding.
I hit my knees, pleading for God to come in and help me turn back around
I want help... but maybe tomorrow, just not right now
But that ground disappeared beneath me
And I knew my demons wouldn't just release me
The battle isn't between flesh and blood
It's against the forces that drag me through the mud
I'm tired of letting myself get dragged down
But I know I've just got to open my eyes and see the ground
And when that light appeared, he began screaming.
My soul is SO DONE with just dreaming
About the potential victory that will redeem me
God, please, make it a reality.
Save me from myself, because I'm my own worst enemy
Stop the nightmares, stop the dreaming
Because God I just want to let you free me.
Set me free from the chains that are holding me
Jesus, please, rescue me.
Thursday, November 15, 2012
God Appointment In My Playlist
Change My Life
Ashes Remain
I’m still awake tonight
broken up inside
I wanna run
but I don’t know where to go
I’m calling Your name
through the pain
Will You turn Your face to me
I’m crying out
I need a miracle
If You could make the sun burn through the night
And You could make the dead man come alive
If You could make the oceans all run dry
Then I know You can change my life
I know You can change my life
I wanna know who You are
that You can fix my heart
And I don’t have to run anymore
Open my eyes
let me see
Give me hope and set me free
Cause I don’t wanna be the way I was before
If You could make the sun burn through the night
And You could make the dead man come alive
If You could make the oceans all run dry
Then I know You can change my life
I know You can change my life
Give me something to believe in
Something worth fighting for
Something that I can’t ignore
You could make the sun burn through the night
You could make the oceans all run dry...
If You could make the sun burn through the night
And You could make the dead man come alive
If You could make the oceans all run dry
Then I know You can change my life
I know You can change my life
I need you to change my life
I need you to change my life
Ashes Remain
I’m still awake tonight
broken up inside
I wanna run
but I don’t know where to go
I’m calling Your name
through the pain
Will You turn Your face to me
I’m crying out
I need a miracle
If You could make the sun burn through the night
And You could make the dead man come alive
If You could make the oceans all run dry
Then I know You can change my life
I know You can change my life
I wanna know who You are
that You can fix my heart
And I don’t have to run anymore
Open my eyes
let me see
Give me hope and set me free
Cause I don’t wanna be the way I was before
If You could make the sun burn through the night
And You could make the dead man come alive
If You could make the oceans all run dry
Then I know You can change my life
I know You can change my life
Give me something to believe in
Something worth fighting for
Something that I can’t ignore
You could make the sun burn through the night
You could make the oceans all run dry...
If You could make the sun burn through the night
And You could make the dead man come alive
If You could make the oceans all run dry
Then I know You can change my life
I know You can change my life
I need you to change my life
I need you to change my life
Dear Anonymous: One
I want to post a new blog, but I'm still working on a poem right now... I guess. Ish. Whatever. Anyways, I used to have a blog on a very outdated social networking site (we won't mention any names, but it rhymes with "thy face") and I wrote a series of letters. I didn't include who they were to, that would be too... logical. Instead, I just wrote away and sometimes they actually pertained to the people who read what I wrote. Sometimes it didn't. Sometimes they were even to myself (don't judge). It doesn't matter, that's irrelevant. Sometimes you just have to put down some words.
To whom it may concern,
I appreciate you more than you'll ever know. I miss you very, very much. I wish you lived closer by. It's weird thinking back to middle school; that time period feels like a fairy tale anymore... Like none of that really happened, but it's a nice story to tell; it feels surreal. Sometimes I wish it was just some nice story to tell to convince kids not to make bad choices or to appeal to them if they need someone to talk to. Ya know, "I can relate, I've been there, I'm here for you". But nah, middle school was a ridiculous handful of years that overwhelmed everyone, I think. Thank you so much for being there for me through all that. Middle school's weird, people get all drama-obsessed and a reality beyond crayons kind of sinks in (slowly or quickly, depending on the person's circumstances, apparently). It's so crazy to think back on how dramatic everyone was about everything. Dating and gossip and all that; I never really got into that, and I think it's calmed down in high school, but then again I've never been very involved in all of that. Like I said back then, I had enough "real drama" outside of school to occupy my thoughts, I didn't need to make some at school in addition. I always laughed with that comment, but it was true. You were so real with me. You always listened and all that, but you also spoke up when I needed a reality check, or when I was just being stupid (I'm sorry I screwed up the kool-aid, and I still think you were way to entertained by my dad hitting me in the face with a snow ball). I wonder if our phone bills were ever super high? Granted we talked on house phones and we lived in the same area so it's not like long distance was an issue. I wish long distance wasn't an issue now. It doesn't matter how often we talk or see each other, it's like nothing has changed when we do eventually get the opportunity to hang out. You're so funny. Why are you insecure? I know everyone is to a certain extent but come on, you've always had a line-up of ladies behind you waiting for a chance to catch your eye, and you've still always been so unsure of yourself. You're a charming, intelligent, entertaining individual, my friend, and I think you should definitely give yourself more credit. Once again, thank you for being so patient and straight up. It's excessive how many inside jokes we have. Remember when we wrote them all down? We... created a lot of lists (hinting towards another insider, ya know, "The List").
Sincerely,
Me.
To whom it may concern,
I appreciate you more than you'll ever know. I miss you very, very much. I wish you lived closer by. It's weird thinking back to middle school; that time period feels like a fairy tale anymore... Like none of that really happened, but it's a nice story to tell; it feels surreal. Sometimes I wish it was just some nice story to tell to convince kids not to make bad choices or to appeal to them if they need someone to talk to. Ya know, "I can relate, I've been there, I'm here for you". But nah, middle school was a ridiculous handful of years that overwhelmed everyone, I think. Thank you so much for being there for me through all that. Middle school's weird, people get all drama-obsessed and a reality beyond crayons kind of sinks in (slowly or quickly, depending on the person's circumstances, apparently). It's so crazy to think back on how dramatic everyone was about everything. Dating and gossip and all that; I never really got into that, and I think it's calmed down in high school, but then again I've never been very involved in all of that. Like I said back then, I had enough "real drama" outside of school to occupy my thoughts, I didn't need to make some at school in addition. I always laughed with that comment, but it was true. You were so real with me. You always listened and all that, but you also spoke up when I needed a reality check, or when I was just being stupid (I'm sorry I screwed up the kool-aid, and I still think you were way to entertained by my dad hitting me in the face with a snow ball). I wonder if our phone bills were ever super high? Granted we talked on house phones and we lived in the same area so it's not like long distance was an issue. I wish long distance wasn't an issue now. It doesn't matter how often we talk or see each other, it's like nothing has changed when we do eventually get the opportunity to hang out. You're so funny. Why are you insecure? I know everyone is to a certain extent but come on, you've always had a line-up of ladies behind you waiting for a chance to catch your eye, and you've still always been so unsure of yourself. You're a charming, intelligent, entertaining individual, my friend, and I think you should definitely give yourself more credit. Once again, thank you for being so patient and straight up. It's excessive how many inside jokes we have. Remember when we wrote them all down? We... created a lot of lists (hinting towards another insider, ya know, "The List").
Sincerely,
Me.
Monday, October 15, 2012
Honesty
I love this poem, it's probably one of my favorites.
When I go to meet God
I'm gonna have to be honest...
I'm gonna have to tell the truth
that not a day has gone by that I didn't doubt you.
You always said, "Don't grow up too fast,
you're just a boy",
but it's better to be in the house of sorrow than the house of joy,
and if I could have a heart like David, that reflects yours,
then what are the odds Solomon's sadness
might have creeped in somewhere to even the score?
Dear Dad, do you remember when I was always sad?
You and mom called it my "depressed year," and I know it was pretty bad...
What drives a child to want to give up everything he has?
What makes a person think that?
What makes a mother's son decide that death is better than tomorrow?
Inside of each and every breath that I "borrowed"
I held onto the sorrow and thought:
"I'll never be able to repay Jesus with the way that I live"
and now I'm thinking so much that I've screwed this all up
and I don't even know if you exist,
so I may as well not exist.
So when I come to meet you
I'm gonna have to be honest
I'm going to have to tell the truth
not one day has gone by that I haven't doubted you.
But I never told you both that I almost killed myself. I did.
I almost drove my car right off that highway bridge,
and as I picked up pace, prayed to God that he'd forgive me if I went through with it:
this is not a life worth living, I've already ruined it!
Mom, dad, sister, friends, family -
if I never see you again I hope you live out your lives happily.
Give my dog a kiss on the lips and all of my writings go to Isaac -
man, the one's about me and you are not meant to be kept in private.
Make them your own and write your songs to inspire the world the way I wish that I did...
Sister, you're beautiful, don't ever let them take that away.
Don't let yourself become just another face with no name.
Get to know Isaac better, you two can collaborate
(besides, your voice is way more beautiful than his has ever been, anyway)
Mom, I'm sorry the last time we talked, we fought...
I'm just so sick of pretending to be somebody that I'm not.
And years down the line when I am all but forgot, you were my last thought.
And to finish the note before I get up to go, dad, I'm sorry I kept all this pain inside -
this will hurt you more than anyone else.
When I breathe my last I will pray that you can forget your past in all of this
and try not to blame yourself...
I tried to find a reason to stay alive!
I love you all so very, very, very much...
goodbye.
God I'm coming to meet you now!
I suppose this decision doesn't display much trust, but
if you are real and really out there
then make me feel like I'm talking to something more than just the ceiling!
But dear mom, I'm getting better at writing happier things -
I know you'll never understand it but I'm attached to the sadness
and it rings true when I sing, and
there's a little bit of healing inside all of our suffering
as I have a savior that took up my suffering for me.
And as I drove down I-40 to collide with 25
I swear to God something beautiful came alive to me inside
and this little memory sparked a reason to risk life one more night:
on christmas morning I don't want my sister to wake up without her brother by her side!
TEAR ME TO PIECES, MY SWEET SUICIDE!
For to die is gain, and to live is Christ so I will make you the apple of my eye...
when I come to meet You,
I'm going to come complete, as You have completed me.
I'm going to come whole
and I would like to come happy...
When I Go To Meet God
Levi the Poet
When I go to meet God
I'm gonna have to be honest...
I'm gonna have to tell the truth
that not a day has gone by that I didn't doubt you.
You always said, "Don't grow up too fast,
you're just a boy",
but it's better to be in the house of sorrow than the house of joy,
and if I could have a heart like David, that reflects yours,
then what are the odds Solomon's sadness
might have creeped in somewhere to even the score?
Dear Dad, do you remember when I was always sad?
You and mom called it my "depressed year," and I know it was pretty bad...
What drives a child to want to give up everything he has?
What makes a person think that?
What makes a mother's son decide that death is better than tomorrow?
Inside of each and every breath that I "borrowed"
I held onto the sorrow and thought:
"I'll never be able to repay Jesus with the way that I live"
and now I'm thinking so much that I've screwed this all up
and I don't even know if you exist,
so I may as well not exist.
So when I come to meet you
I'm gonna have to be honest
I'm going to have to tell the truth
not one day has gone by that I haven't doubted you.
But I never told you both that I almost killed myself. I did.
I almost drove my car right off that highway bridge,
and as I picked up pace, prayed to God that he'd forgive me if I went through with it:
this is not a life worth living, I've already ruined it!
Mom, dad, sister, friends, family -
if I never see you again I hope you live out your lives happily.
Give my dog a kiss on the lips and all of my writings go to Isaac -
man, the one's about me and you are not meant to be kept in private.
Make them your own and write your songs to inspire the world the way I wish that I did...
Sister, you're beautiful, don't ever let them take that away.
Don't let yourself become just another face with no name.
Get to know Isaac better, you two can collaborate
(besides, your voice is way more beautiful than his has ever been, anyway)
Mom, I'm sorry the last time we talked, we fought...
I'm just so sick of pretending to be somebody that I'm not.
And years down the line when I am all but forgot, you were my last thought.
And to finish the note before I get up to go, dad, I'm sorry I kept all this pain inside -
this will hurt you more than anyone else.
When I breathe my last I will pray that you can forget your past in all of this
and try not to blame yourself...
I tried to find a reason to stay alive!
I love you all so very, very, very much...
goodbye.
God I'm coming to meet you now!
I suppose this decision doesn't display much trust, but
if you are real and really out there
then make me feel like I'm talking to something more than just the ceiling!
But dear mom, I'm getting better at writing happier things -
I know you'll never understand it but I'm attached to the sadness
and it rings true when I sing, and
there's a little bit of healing inside all of our suffering
as I have a savior that took up my suffering for me.
And as I drove down I-40 to collide with 25
I swear to God something beautiful came alive to me inside
and this little memory sparked a reason to risk life one more night:
on christmas morning I don't want my sister to wake up without her brother by her side!
TEAR ME TO PIECES, MY SWEET SUICIDE!
For to die is gain, and to live is Christ so I will make you the apple of my eye...
when I come to meet You,
I'm going to come complete, as You have completed me.
I'm going to come whole
and I would like to come happy...
Break Up
This poem is a conversation. My friend Kayla and I wrote it together. Writing and performing it was an interesting experience, even a fun one. Enjoy.
Liar!
This is the once innocent girl
Who destroyed her whole world
Because of a simple but devastating choice
To ignore the warning from that small voice
In the back of her mind that told her
It would someday hurt and control her.
She didn't listen.
This isn't what I envisioned!
This life with you where I'm expect to cower down in submission?
I have to leave; I've already made the decision.
Don't you understand that I own you now?
You can't leave, you're not allowed!
You used to act proud but I'm the one that put you on that cloud
That cloud now casts the darkest shadow,
And its acid rains have caused me sorrow
You've taken and destroyed everything I had
They warned me not to trust you, told me you were bad.
I was there when those same friends turned their backs on you.
Don't lie either, you know it's true
I was all you had to turn to
I made that decision, but it was a mistake
I realize that now and know what's at stake
My friends, family; my entire life's falling apart
And to know that I let you cause that breaks my heart
When I'm stressed, I feel yout apping on my shoulder
But I won't go back, back to the old her
Back to my old ways, back to those wasted days
You no longer have control.
Now I've found my way back,
Back to Him, who completes me where I lack.
Are you stupid? God isn't any higher
Than the highs I gave you that you used to admire
Liar!
I'm ashamed those events even transpired
You could never get me high enough to escape the eternal fire.
So I'm done, we're finished, my love for you has been replaced
With the love of God and his mercy and grace
But I thought we had something special?
Don't let your mind wander and your thoughts wrestle
You know I was there for you when you were down
When those supposed friends of yours were nowhere to be found
I brought you up when you were sad,
Honestly, don't you miss what we had?
No! What we had was nothing but bad
You gave me so much belief that you were my only relief
And I can't let myself rely on you anymore
You may have won a few battles, but I won the war
That's not the person I wanted to be,
That's not the girl in the mirror I wanted to see!
You were there for me? No! You were not!
You hid my pain beneath the rot
And now I cannot, cannot be your slave, cannot be your toy
I stole all your precious joy
Joy is now all I seek
Seek happiness away from me, all you are is weak
In my weakness, God's strength is make perfect
Perfect? Turn away from me you'll be nothing but a reject
How could you steal the joy that I never had? My weakness was turning to you when things got bad
Perfection is the reflection of God within me
You're the reason my friends have rejected,
You're just not what I expected!
You've imprisoned me for far too long
I now know that you're nothing but wrong
I will not believe your lies because Christ has heard my cries
Through Him I have the strength to fight
Destroy your darkness with my own light
Your poison no longer affects me!
Your hold is now beneath me!
So this is it! We're over! I don't need you to be someone,
To be good enough. Getting away from you may be hard, the path is rough.
But enough is enough! I've called your bluff.
This conversation is done.
My fight has been won.
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer. Psalm 19:14
-Danny
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
The Dragon
I didn't write this, so don't start getting all crazy or anything. I just appreciated this story and thought I'd share it, as well as save it for a rainy day read.
The Dragon
The Dragon
There was once a great and noble King whose land was terrorized by a
crafty dragon. Like a massive bird of prey, the scaly beast delighted in
ravaging villages with his fiery breath. Hapless victims ran from their
burning homes, only to be snatched into the dragon's jaws or talons.
Those devoured instantly were deemed more fortunate than those carried
back to the dragon's lair to be devoured at his leisure. The King led
his sons and knights in many valiant battles against the dragon.
Riding alone in the forest, one of the King's sons heard his name purred
low and soft. In the shadows of the ferns and trees, curled among the
boulders, lay the dragon. The creature's heavy-lidded eyes fastened on
the prince, and the reptilian mouth stretched into a friendly smile.
"Don't be alarmed," said the dragon, as gray wisps of smoke rose lazily
from his nostrils.
"I am not what your father thinks."
"What are you, then?" asked the prince, warily drawing his sword as he
pulled in the reins to keep his fearful horse from bolting.
"I am pleasure," said the dragon. "Ride on my back and you will
experience more than you ever imagined. Come now. I have no harmful
intentions. I seek a friend, someone to share flights with me. Have you
never dreamed of flying? Never longed to soar in the clouds?"
Visions of soaring high above the forested hills drew the prince
hesitantly from his horse. The dragon unfurled one great webbed wing to
serve as a ramp to his ridged back. Between the spiny projections, the
prince found a secure seat. Then the creature snapped his powerful wings
twice and launched them into the sky. The prince's apprehension melted
into awe and exhilaration.
From then on, he met the dragon often, but secretly, for how could he
tell his father, brothers or the knights that he had befriended the
enemy? The prince felt separate from them all. Their concerns were no
longer his concerns. Even when he wasn't with the dragon, he spent less
time with those he loved and more time alone.
The skin on the prince's legs became calloused from gripping the ridged
back of the dragon, and his hands grew rough and hardened. He began
wearing gloves to hide the malady. After many nights of riding, he
discovered scales growing on the backs of his hands as well. With dread
he realized his fate were he to continue, and so he resolved to return
no more to the dragon.
But, after a fortnight, he again sought out the dragon, having been
tormented with desire. And so it transpired many times over. No matter
what his determination, the prince eventually found himself pulled back,
as if by the cords of an invisible web. Silently, patiently, the dragon
always waited.
One cold, moonless night their excursion became a foray against a
sleeping village. Torching the thatched roofs with fiery blasts from his
nostrils, the dragon roared with delight when the terrified victims fled
from their burning homes. Swooping in, the serpent belched again and
flames engulfed a cluster of screaming villages. The prince closed his
eyes tightly in an attempt to shut out the carnage.
In the pre dawn hours, when the prince crept back from his dragon
trysts, the road outside his father's castle usually remained empty. But
not tonight. Terrified refugees streamed into the protective walls of
the castle. The prince attempted to slip through the crowd to close
himself in his chambers, but some of the survivors stared and pointed
toward him.
"He was there," one woman cried out, "I saw him on the back of the
dragon." Others nodded their heads in angry agreement. Horrified, the
prince saw that his father, the King, was in the courtyard holding a
bleeding child in his arms. The King's face mirrored the agony of his
people as his eyes found the prince's. The son fled, hoping to escape
into the night, but the guards apprehended him as if he were a common
thief. They brought him to the great hall where his father sat solemnly
on the throne. The people on every side railed against the prince.
"Banish him!" he heard one of his own brothers angrily cry out.
"Burn him alive!" other voices shouted.
As the king rose from his throne, bloodstains from the wounded shone
darkly on his royal robes. The crowd fell silent in expectation of his
decree. The prince, who could not bear to look into his father's face,
stared at the flagstones of the floor.
"Take off your gloves and your tunic," the King commanded. The prince
obeyed slowly, dreading to have his metamorphosis uncovered before the
kingdom. Was his shame not already enough? He had hoped for a quick
death without further humiliation. Sounds of revulsion rippled through
the crowd at the sight of the prince's thick, scaled skin and the ridge
growing along his spine.
The king strode toward his son, and the prince steeled himself, fully
expecting a back handed blow even though he had never been struck so by
his father.
Instead, his father embraced him and wept as he held him tightly. In
shocked disbelief, the prince buried his face against his father's
shoulder.
"Do you wish to be freed from the dragon, my son?"
The prince answered in despair, "I wished it many times, but there is no
hope for me."
"Not alone," said the King. "You cannot win against the dragon alone."
"Father, I am no longer your son. I am half beast," sobbed the prince.
But his father replied, "My blood runs in your veins. My nobility has
always been stamped deep within your soul."
With his face still hidden tearfully in his father's embrace, the prince
heard the King instruct the crowd, "The dragon is crafty. Some fall
victim to his wiles and some to his violence. There will be mercy for
all who wish to be freed. Who else among you has ridden the dragon?"
The prince lifted his head to see someone emerge from the crowd. To his
amazement, he recognized an older brother, one who had been lauded
throughout the kingdom for his onslaughts against the dragon in battle
and for his many good deeds. Others came, some weeping, others hanging
their heads in shame.
The King embraced them all.
"This is our most powerful weapon against the dragon," he announced.
"Truth. No more hidden flights. Alone we cannot resist him!
Who, Me?
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Writing Words
I wanted to write a book once. I tried. I made it to about Chapter 8. I stopped working on it a long time ago for various reasons.
I've always written poetry. Years ago, it was a much different kind of poetry. To be frank (as opposed to Joe or Bob, haha), it was rather depressing. After I became a Christian, I started writing poetry again and instead used them to glorify God.
I have yet to make this transition in my other writing.
It's hard.
I'm having a hard time picking up where I left off. It's not exactly a smooth transition; I don't really know how to explain it.
I think it's very possible that I overuse semicolons.
I like fruity pebbles.
Remember when people were obsessed with MySpace? Whatever happened to that, anyway. No one anticipates that something that popular that becomes a necessity in daily routine will die so dramatically. No one uses MySpace anymore. Do they?
I loved MySpace. It was so stupid. Middle school was a weird time.
Anyways! I get myself side-tracked very easily.
I wish I could work on this "book" I started. Maybe I will sometime. In all sincerity, I am extremely busy and it wouldn't work out so well if I did try right now, anyways.
Dude, college. What's up with that?
-Danny
- I was so busy.
- There was so much going on.
- It didn't interest me anymore.
- I wanted to write other things.
- I procrastinate.
- I have a short attention span.
- I can't finish anything, anyway.
I've always written poetry. Years ago, it was a much different kind of poetry. To be frank (as opposed to Joe or Bob, haha), it was rather depressing. After I became a Christian, I started writing poetry again and instead used them to glorify God.
I have yet to make this transition in my other writing.
It's hard.
I'm having a hard time picking up where I left off. It's not exactly a smooth transition; I don't really know how to explain it.
I think it's very possible that I overuse semicolons.
I like fruity pebbles.
Remember when people were obsessed with MySpace? Whatever happened to that, anyway. No one anticipates that something that popular that becomes a necessity in daily routine will die so dramatically. No one uses MySpace anymore. Do they?
I loved MySpace. It was so stupid. Middle school was a weird time.
Anyways! I get myself side-tracked very easily.
I wish I could work on this "book" I started. Maybe I will sometime. In all sincerity, I am extremely busy and it wouldn't work out so well if I did try right now, anyways.
Dude, college. What's up with that?
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer. Psalm 19:14
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Reflection: My Father's Daughter
For some reason, unknown to me (or at least, I wish I didn't understand the reason, however I believe I do) this poem is many people's favorite. After I finished it and revised it a few times, I hated it. That was probably because of how raw, serious, and real it is for so many people. It sincerely pissed me off. Then I performed it for a group of people at a Poetry Slam we did at school. I had a lot of feedback (which kind of freaked me out at the time, honestly) and I realized just how serious the topic was for so many people in so many different ways. I was asked to say it for a few other events to various groups of people, and I started to get sick of this poem. At the time, I kind of thought it was because I had said it so much, and since I had it memorized so well it ran through my head pretty often, so I thought it was way over done. However, I believe I was actually getting tired of it because it was truth. When the truth is hard or painful, as it often is, we want to doll it up with pretty language or images. You make things sound nicer than they really are, but that doesn't change anything, and it doesn't help or promote healing. I realized people liked my poem because it was real and there was no fluff. Sure, it had that happy ending, but only after exposing the painful truth of so many people's lives. Even the happy ending isn't presented in some "feel-good" way, it's straight forward and in your face. "My Father's Daughter" points out weaknesses for a lot of people, whether they're on one side of the problem or the other. It's real life, it's truth. I believe that's why people favor this poem, but more importantly, I think that's why it's caused healing in people's lives. By no means is this healing a result of anything I've done. Just like the ending of the poem explains, the healing comes as a result of a relationship with the very best Father. The only reason I have a happy ending for any of my poems is because every life can have a happy ending, and that happiness, that solution comes from God alone.
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer. Psalm 19:14
-Danny
Reflection: John One [dash] Five (ish)
Personally, this is probably one of my favorites. Picking a favorite is really hard because all of my pieces are significant in some way and mean something to me (obviously, otherwise it wouldn't be real poetry). This one's so much fun for me though. Just saying the title, "JohnOneDashFiveIsh" is kind of fun. I'm just a nerd, I apologize.
I have a very... strange writing process when it comes to this stuff. I try my hardest to glorify God with my writing (as well as everything else I do), so prayer and spiritual inspiration are huge aspects. This piece in particular was a little different. Usually, I end up with so many little scraps of paper with random words or phrases/sentences scribbled on them that I can hardly keep up with them all. These result from random thoughts I have throughout my daily routine, usually over the span of a few weeks or so. God lays a topic or thought on my heart, and I realize that I'll write a poem about it sometime soon. Then, the topic continues to come up in discussion, on television, on the radio, in school, at church, at home, everywhere. The message becomes very insistent and reoccurring, I guess you could say. These random sparks of understanding kind of act as inspiration, and I scramble for a piece of paper to write things down. I keep them in my brown journal along with the rest of my poems or starter papers, and I just wait until it finally comes together and I sit down to make sense of it all (and do some more intense praying). I also tend to listen to music. The genre depends on the mood or feeling I want conveyed in the poem. For example, while doing these reflections, I listen to Vitamin String Quartet (look them up, they're great).
Anyways, like I said before, my routine was different while writing "John One [dash] Five (ish)". About a week prior (keeping in mind I'm horrible with timelines and dates) I had a dream. Most of the dream itself is irrelevant, but I did wake up knowing I needed to read The Gospel of John. It was kind of funny/weird, I was staying the night at a friend's house and had just fallen asleep, and I woke up suddenly and asked "Um... Hey, what's in the Gospel of John?" Needless the say, it was a special moment. Anyway, throughout the week I read through the book and such. If you haven't thumbed through this section of the bible yet, I highly recommend it.
One day, I believe I stayed home from school because I was sick (I don't really remember, I'm kind of guessing). I was sitting on my couch in the living room on my laptop, keeping myself entertained. I had a few songs stuck in my head at the same time, and if you've ever dealt with this, you probably understand how overwhelming it is to want to sing numerous lines from different songs. You can also probably guess which songs they are (hint: they're in the poem). Suddenly, while singing a line from Mighty To Save, specifically,
"So shine your light and let the whole world see, We're singing for the glory of the risen King",
I added some lines afterwards that weren't part of the song. They came out of no where and I didn't know why I said them, but they kind of flowed so I typed them into a note on my laptop, thinking maybe sometime later I'd turn it into a poem. I looked at the words, and added some more. In the course of an hour, I had an almost identical version of what is now "John One [dash] Five (ish)". I read the beginning verses of John and used the songs stuck in my head to piece together how I view my walk with Christ, my strengths, and my weaknesses as a human. My strength is Christ within me. He is the only thing about me that is flawless, the only thing I can brag about is His majesty. My weaknesses are numerous because I am human, but God never fails; He's perfect.
John 1:5 says "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it" (ESV)
Let's look at the verse in context:
Scripture speaks for itself. God is light, in Him there is no darkness at all. Light overcame darkness. Darkness did not understand the light (overcame is translated as understood in different versions). My life, the world itself, is darkness. I still can't understand God completely, but I'm only human. I never will understand everything. However, I wasn't called to understand. I was called to share the light I've been given with others. I've been called to be a light in other people's lives.
Also something to think about:
I named this poem after John 1:5, as well as the section of scripture I included above (which explains the "ish"). Recently, while doing some studying, I noticed another 1:5 relation:
1 John 1:5-
5This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.
Just a nice correlation, I thought.
I have a very... strange writing process when it comes to this stuff. I try my hardest to glorify God with my writing (as well as everything else I do), so prayer and spiritual inspiration are huge aspects. This piece in particular was a little different. Usually, I end up with so many little scraps of paper with random words or phrases/sentences scribbled on them that I can hardly keep up with them all. These result from random thoughts I have throughout my daily routine, usually over the span of a few weeks or so. God lays a topic or thought on my heart, and I realize that I'll write a poem about it sometime soon. Then, the topic continues to come up in discussion, on television, on the radio, in school, at church, at home, everywhere. The message becomes very insistent and reoccurring, I guess you could say. These random sparks of understanding kind of act as inspiration, and I scramble for a piece of paper to write things down. I keep them in my brown journal along with the rest of my poems or starter papers, and I just wait until it finally comes together and I sit down to make sense of it all (and do some more intense praying). I also tend to listen to music. The genre depends on the mood or feeling I want conveyed in the poem. For example, while doing these reflections, I listen to Vitamin String Quartet (look them up, they're great).
Anyways, like I said before, my routine was different while writing "John One [dash] Five (ish)". About a week prior (keeping in mind I'm horrible with timelines and dates) I had a dream. Most of the dream itself is irrelevant, but I did wake up knowing I needed to read The Gospel of John. It was kind of funny/weird, I was staying the night at a friend's house and had just fallen asleep, and I woke up suddenly and asked "Um... Hey, what's in the Gospel of John?" Needless the say, it was a special moment. Anyway, throughout the week I read through the book and such. If you haven't thumbed through this section of the bible yet, I highly recommend it.
One day, I believe I stayed home from school because I was sick (I don't really remember, I'm kind of guessing). I was sitting on my couch in the living room on my laptop, keeping myself entertained. I had a few songs stuck in my head at the same time, and if you've ever dealt with this, you probably understand how overwhelming it is to want to sing numerous lines from different songs. You can also probably guess which songs they are (hint: they're in the poem). Suddenly, while singing a line from Mighty To Save, specifically,
"So shine your light and let the whole world see, We're singing for the glory of the risen King",
I added some lines afterwards that weren't part of the song. They came out of no where and I didn't know why I said them, but they kind of flowed so I typed them into a note on my laptop, thinking maybe sometime later I'd turn it into a poem. I looked at the words, and added some more. In the course of an hour, I had an almost identical version of what is now "John One [dash] Five (ish)". I read the beginning verses of John and used the songs stuck in my head to piece together how I view my walk with Christ, my strengths, and my weaknesses as a human. My strength is Christ within me. He is the only thing about me that is flawless, the only thing I can brag about is His majesty. My weaknesses are numerous because I am human, but God never fails; He's perfect.
John 1:5 says "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it" (ESV)
Let's look at the verse in context:
1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was in the beginning with God. 3All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. 4In him was life, and the life was the light of men. 5The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.
6 There was a man sent from God, whose name was John. 7 He came as a witness, to bear witness about the light, that all might believe through him.Scripture speaks for itself. God is light, in Him there is no darkness at all. Light overcame darkness. Darkness did not understand the light (overcame is translated as understood in different versions). My life, the world itself, is darkness. I still can't understand God completely, but I'm only human. I never will understand everything. However, I wasn't called to understand. I was called to share the light I've been given with others. I've been called to be a light in other people's lives.
Also something to think about:
I named this poem after John 1:5, as well as the section of scripture I included above (which explains the "ish"). Recently, while doing some studying, I noticed another 1:5 relation:
1 John 1:5-
5This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.
Just a nice correlation, I thought.
May the words of the mouth and meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer. Psalm 19:14
-Danny
My Father's Daughter
Maybe this poem is for all the little girls who never met their father
For the boy, who never understood those sons and daughters
Who would talk about their "daddy", and just sound so happy
And wonder why that can't be me.
Maybe this poem is for all the little kids
Who took a swift kick to the ribs for telling a fib
But never told their teacher they they had bruises
God forbid.
Or maybe this poem is for the child who misses who Dad used to be
When Mom and Dad would never disagree
And he still played with me and I can guarantee
That's how I thought it would always be.
This poem could be for any child, maybe,
Who never heard him call her "honey" or "baby"
His glances towards you now are so shady
Your idea of family is now shaking
And that hole in your heart for him is just aching.
Maybe this poem is for the kid whose Dad's at the bar
All night on the weekends and it's just so bizarre
That even when he does come home he still seems so far
And you're just waiting for the day that he totals more than a car.
Maybe this poem is for the homes filled with strife
When he comes home late at night
And nothing's all right and they just want to fight
I promise: Darkness is simply the absence of light.
Because maybe this poem is for the daughter
Who never met her father
Or for the boy that didn't know that "Son"
Wasn't a title that had to be earned or won
Maybe... But no.
Actually, this poem is for all the people
Who think God is just a steeple.
This poem is for the broken
Whose stories are not spoken
Because they think the past shouldn't be reopened.
This poem is to tell you you're adopted
Even if your father opted to disappear
Because your God is here.
He will never forsake you or fail you
Or leave you or tell you, "you're nothing",
Because baby, you're something!
And even when you're bluffing and saying "It's nothing"
"Ha, it's nothing..."
He knows the pain's crushing.
He holds you, and molds you
And tells you he loves you
And he knows what you go through!
So to change your view
Of yourself and what's true
He'll simply say, "I own you"
So this poem is to tell you:
That you are the son, or daughter,
Of the very best Father.
-Danny
For the boy, who never understood those sons and daughters
Who would talk about their "daddy", and just sound so happy
And wonder why that can't be me.
Maybe this poem is for all the little kids
Who took a swift kick to the ribs for telling a fib
But never told their teacher they they had bruises
God forbid.
Or maybe this poem is for the child who misses who Dad used to be
When Mom and Dad would never disagree
And he still played with me and I can guarantee
That's how I thought it would always be.
This poem could be for any child, maybe,
Who never heard him call her "honey" or "baby"
His glances towards you now are so shady
Your idea of family is now shaking
And that hole in your heart for him is just aching.
Maybe this poem is for the kid whose Dad's at the bar
All night on the weekends and it's just so bizarre
That even when he does come home he still seems so far
And you're just waiting for the day that he totals more than a car.
Maybe this poem is for the homes filled with strife
When he comes home late at night
And nothing's all right and they just want to fight
I promise: Darkness is simply the absence of light.
Because maybe this poem is for the daughter
Who never met her father
Or for the boy that didn't know that "Son"
Wasn't a title that had to be earned or won
Maybe... But no.
Actually, this poem is for all the people
Who think God is just a steeple.
This poem is for the broken
Whose stories are not spoken
Because they think the past shouldn't be reopened.
This poem is to tell you you're adopted
Even if your father opted to disappear
Because your God is here.
He will never forsake you or fail you
Or leave you or tell you, "you're nothing",
Because baby, you're something!
And even when you're bluffing and saying "It's nothing"
"Ha, it's nothing..."
He knows the pain's crushing.
He holds you, and molds you
And tells you he loves you
And he knows what you go through!
So to change your view
Of yourself and what's true
He'll simply say, "I own you"
So this poem is to tell you:
That you are the son, or daughter,
Of the very best Father.
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer. Psalm 19:14
Incoherence.
Incredulous. Incessant. Incorrigible.
The English language is Incredible.
"Find meanings and definitions of words at Dictionary.com!"
You can't find the meaning of life in a dictionary. You can't find the meaning of emotion and intellect behind a computer screen. Or, can you?
Two cans and a string is all you need to connect with another individual.
No it's not, it's much more difficult.
Pitiful, really, how often people prefer the reciprocal.
And why does it have to be difficult, anyway?
I mean, it's biblical; Iron sharpens iron.
I've got to stop hiding my metal in the bottom drawer.
I have more than I could have ever asked for, and instead of appreciating it for what it is, I've left myself in a million broken pieces on the floor. What am I even talking about anymore?
This isn't a poem.
I have a tendency to think too critically of myself.
I also have a tendency to rhyme. I get on my own nerves.
Google this, Google that.
Just Google it. That's not even a verb, you don't "google" things. Vocabulary changes. "Text" wasn't a verb either, T9 doesn't even recognize the term "texting" (neither does my internet spell check, apparently).
You don't grasp how quickly and dramatically things are changing while it happens, but once you look back, you realize everything is completely different, and will never be the same again.
Word processor's are very convenient. You know, essays and such. But that squiggly red line amplifies my mistakes like no other. You know exactly what I'm talking about too; you misspell something, or use a name or word the system doesn't recognize, and it's all over from there. That red line screams ERROR as if there are no means to make amends for the unforgivable mistake. Even a typo isn't acceptable, even new terminology ("texting" for example) can't make it out alive.
That red line is a reflection of my mistakes in the fullest. Of course, the squiggly characteristic isn't exactly accurate. But anyways.
You're so helpful, Microsoft Word, but why do you have to dramatize my faults so boldly?
It's okay, I understand. Someone has to, especially if I've become so accustomed to shoving everything to the back of my closet, stuffing my bottom drawer. It's so ironic, that my "sharpening iron" of companionship isn't the only metal hidden behind my mask of composure.
What?
This is what happens when I allow myself to chase the blips of imagination floating around in the exhausted space of my mind.
This is also what happens when I get on the computer to do my English homework and refuse to carry through.
Congratulations, you've just experienced a small portion of my poetic writing process. This complicated endeavor would probably explain why I'm so exhausted when I'm finished with a piece. Maybe I'll turn this into something profound, someday. Something that rhymes and tells the truth more than any confession I could possibly make ever will.
-Danny
The English language is Incredible.
"Find meanings and definitions of words at Dictionary.com!"
You can't find the meaning of life in a dictionary. You can't find the meaning of emotion and intellect behind a computer screen. Or, can you?
Two cans and a string is all you need to connect with another individual.
No it's not, it's much more difficult.
Pitiful, really, how often people prefer the reciprocal.
And why does it have to be difficult, anyway?
I mean, it's biblical; Iron sharpens iron.
I've got to stop hiding my metal in the bottom drawer.
I have more than I could have ever asked for, and instead of appreciating it for what it is, I've left myself in a million broken pieces on the floor. What am I even talking about anymore?
This isn't a poem.
I have a tendency to think too critically of myself.
I also have a tendency to rhyme. I get on my own nerves.
Google this, Google that.
Just Google it. That's not even a verb, you don't "google" things. Vocabulary changes. "Text" wasn't a verb either, T9 doesn't even recognize the term "texting" (neither does my internet spell check, apparently).
You don't grasp how quickly and dramatically things are changing while it happens, but once you look back, you realize everything is completely different, and will never be the same again.
Word processor's are very convenient. You know, essays and such. But that squiggly red line amplifies my mistakes like no other. You know exactly what I'm talking about too; you misspell something, or use a name or word the system doesn't recognize, and it's all over from there. That red line screams ERROR as if there are no means to make amends for the unforgivable mistake. Even a typo isn't acceptable, even new terminology ("texting" for example) can't make it out alive.
That red line is a reflection of my mistakes in the fullest. Of course, the squiggly characteristic isn't exactly accurate. But anyways.
You're so helpful, Microsoft Word, but why do you have to dramatize my faults so boldly?
It's okay, I understand. Someone has to, especially if I've become so accustomed to shoving everything to the back of my closet, stuffing my bottom drawer. It's so ironic, that my "sharpening iron" of companionship isn't the only metal hidden behind my mask of composure.
What?
This is what happens when I allow myself to chase the blips of imagination floating around in the exhausted space of my mind.
This is also what happens when I get on the computer to do my English homework and refuse to carry through.
Congratulations, you've just experienced a small portion of my poetic writing process. This complicated endeavor would probably explain why I'm so exhausted when I'm finished with a piece. Maybe I'll turn this into something profound, someday. Something that rhymes and tells the truth more than any confession I could possibly make ever will.
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer. Psalm 19:14
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Temptation
I saw a spider today.
I stopped dead in my tracks, and in fact,
I wondered how badly it would hurt if I asked him to play.
If I tried to make him my friend, would he tickle my arm and distract my pain?
Or, would he crawl into my life and bite me the way the world has?
As I stood there sinking into my thoughts,
I wondered how badly it would hurt if I tried to be friends.
I guess it just depends on how willing I am to focus on the pain.
Or maybe it would be more dulling,
And my black widow friend could help numb the apathy I'm trying to maintain.
It's true, I miss you, it's been so, so long
But every time you visit you bring temptation with you
And I realize it's all just so wrong.
Who am I kidding? You ARE temptation!
Just the slightest mention or reminder of you
And I instantly think back to that sensation.
What a relief it was to have you around,
Knowing if anything went wrong you would catch my break down.
...But, you were my break down.
What a great friend you are!
You hid my feelings beneath a crimson mask of shame and regret.
I could just reach out to you, followed by a cigarette and then all that's left is to try to forget.
I can't forget.
I've blamed you for so many years.
In reality, it isn't even you.
It's my own collection of weaknesses and fears.
I'm having an allergic reaction to myself, and I need to change gears.
My salvation isn't based on me, or my ability to do anything.
It's based on grace.
It's based on my Lord's willingness to remove the weights of history and sin,
And he is more than willing.
I saw a spider today,
And I told him, "goodbye".
I went on my way and just passed him by
Without looking back, without regret.
I haven't reached the end of the road yet,
But I've narrowed my path and I've focused my view.
In all sincerity, old "friend",
I don't miss you.
-----
My minds been in a slightly darker place lately, which is probably where this came from. This poem's about a spider I came across one day while going back and forth between houses. I was so frustrated with everything going on around me, but as I was walking out the front door I looked up and noticed a huge black widow staring down at me. I stopped, and sincerely thought about what would happen if I tried to hold it or something (foolish, I know). I was very overwhelmed at the time, and I was also struggling with some old habits I had to cope with things. I was also trying to figure out how to rekindle my relationship with a once very close family member of mine who was visiting at the time, but I wasn't exactly sure I could influence her positively enough without her having a negative influence on me. When I got home that night, I wrote down a couple of lines about my odd thoughts regarding the spider. Lately I've been revisiting some old thoughts, and I gave a brief testimony to a youth group on my 18th birthday last weekend. Needless to say, I've done some backtracking, but this time it turned out constructive and instead of stumbling, I resorted to poetic reflection instead; a much better coping mechanism, in my opinion. This poem is about a spider. It's about old friends, temptation, addiction, and change.
-Danny
I stopped dead in my tracks, and in fact,
I wondered how badly it would hurt if I asked him to play.
If I tried to make him my friend, would he tickle my arm and distract my pain?
Or, would he crawl into my life and bite me the way the world has?
As I stood there sinking into my thoughts,
I wondered how badly it would hurt if I tried to be friends.
I guess it just depends on how willing I am to focus on the pain.
Or maybe it would be more dulling,
And my black widow friend could help numb the apathy I'm trying to maintain.
It's true, I miss you, it's been so, so long
But every time you visit you bring temptation with you
And I realize it's all just so wrong.
Who am I kidding? You ARE temptation!
Just the slightest mention or reminder of you
And I instantly think back to that sensation.
What a relief it was to have you around,
Knowing if anything went wrong you would catch my break down.
...But, you were my break down.
What a great friend you are!
You hid my feelings beneath a crimson mask of shame and regret.
I could just reach out to you, followed by a cigarette and then all that's left is to try to forget.
I can't forget.
I've blamed you for so many years.
In reality, it isn't even you.
It's my own collection of weaknesses and fears.
I'm having an allergic reaction to myself, and I need to change gears.
My salvation isn't based on me, or my ability to do anything.
It's based on grace.
It's based on my Lord's willingness to remove the weights of history and sin,
And he is more than willing.
I saw a spider today,
And I told him, "goodbye".
I went on my way and just passed him by
Without looking back, without regret.
I haven't reached the end of the road yet,
But I've narrowed my path and I've focused my view.
In all sincerity, old "friend",
I don't miss you.
-----
My minds been in a slightly darker place lately, which is probably where this came from. This poem's about a spider I came across one day while going back and forth between houses. I was so frustrated with everything going on around me, but as I was walking out the front door I looked up and noticed a huge black widow staring down at me. I stopped, and sincerely thought about what would happen if I tried to hold it or something (foolish, I know). I was very overwhelmed at the time, and I was also struggling with some old habits I had to cope with things. I was also trying to figure out how to rekindle my relationship with a once very close family member of mine who was visiting at the time, but I wasn't exactly sure I could influence her positively enough without her having a negative influence on me. When I got home that night, I wrote down a couple of lines about my odd thoughts regarding the spider. Lately I've been revisiting some old thoughts, and I gave a brief testimony to a youth group on my 18th birthday last weekend. Needless to say, I've done some backtracking, but this time it turned out constructive and instead of stumbling, I resorted to poetic reflection instead; a much better coping mechanism, in my opinion. This poem is about a spider. It's about old friends, temptation, addiction, and change.
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer. Psalm 19:14
Thursday, September 6, 2012
John One [dash] Five (ish)
Side note: The ridiculous title is because that's how you say it. "John One Dash Five Ish". Also, I plan on posted an in-depth explanation of this piece sometime.
----------------------------------------------------
"So shine your light and, let the whole world see"
We're singing for the glory of the risen King
And I am speaking for the understanding of his Majesty
I mean I'm reading for the understanding of...
But I'm praying for the...
I am begging for
I am seeking for the understanding of Your Majesty.
But it's just incomprehensible to me
My mind is feeble and my flesh is weak
And sometimes it isn't your will and your way that I seek
So where exactly am I at in my Christianity?
Can we even call it that anymore?
It's not about religion, it's a relationship, a light
But honestly people don't care what you call it they just want to see it done right
So what is it that you're chasing after
If it's that feeling inside you get similar to that after laughter
You're in the wrong.
I'm sorry but people are emotional, and feelings are fleeting.
However, Our God, is faithful in completing
The promises he made to us from the very beginning
"This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine"
Yeah I'm gonna let that light shine
SO bright, baby it'll light up the night
And maybe you don't even understand it yet
But you've just got to try
It'll change your entire life
But take His word for it, not mine.
Because I am human, and I stumble
I've just got to take a step back and be humble
Enough to realize and recognize that I need to be looking at the world through Your eyes.
"Praise the Lord, I saw the light"
And He told us: you are the light of the world
So why not put it on a lamp stand so all can see
I thought, well there's no way they can be as lost as me
It'd be like the blind leading the blind, we'll be walking into trees
PLEASE. Understand, we are simply man
We don't have all the answers, we're just following commands
The thing is, it really is about a relationship
It's about seeking his face everyday and not letting anything get in the way
Of what God has to say.
Lord means Boss, and Boss means devotion.
We're called to abandon ourselves and not be lead by emotion
Because despite what we feel in the morning, we're still His
Despite how we feel, when we're alone, late at night
And the darkness tries to creep inside
He is still the giver of sight, that unfading light, and the reason for, the leader of, my life.
-Danny
----------------------------------------------------
"So shine your light and, let the whole world see"
We're singing for the glory of the risen King
And I am speaking for the understanding of his Majesty
I mean I'm reading for the understanding of...
But I'm praying for the...
I am begging for
I am seeking for the understanding of Your Majesty.
But it's just incomprehensible to me
My mind is feeble and my flesh is weak
And sometimes it isn't your will and your way that I seek
So where exactly am I at in my Christianity?
Can we even call it that anymore?
It's not about religion, it's a relationship, a light
But honestly people don't care what you call it they just want to see it done right
So what is it that you're chasing after
If it's that feeling inside you get similar to that after laughter
You're in the wrong.
I'm sorry but people are emotional, and feelings are fleeting.
However, Our God, is faithful in completing
The promises he made to us from the very beginning
"This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine"
Yeah I'm gonna let that light shine
SO bright, baby it'll light up the night
And maybe you don't even understand it yet
But you've just got to try
It'll change your entire life
But take His word for it, not mine.
Because I am human, and I stumble
I've just got to take a step back and be humble
Enough to realize and recognize that I need to be looking at the world through Your eyes.
"Praise the Lord, I saw the light"
And He told us: you are the light of the world
So why not put it on a lamp stand so all can see
I thought, well there's no way they can be as lost as me
It'd be like the blind leading the blind, we'll be walking into trees
PLEASE. Understand, we are simply man
We don't have all the answers, we're just following commands
The thing is, it really is about a relationship
It's about seeking his face everyday and not letting anything get in the way
Of what God has to say.
Lord means Boss, and Boss means devotion.
We're called to abandon ourselves and not be lead by emotion
Because despite what we feel in the morning, we're still His
Despite how we feel, when we're alone, late at night
And the darkness tries to creep inside
He is still the giver of sight, that unfading light, and the reason for, the leader of, my life.
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer. Psalm 19:14
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