I Love Forrest Gump

Honesty

I love this poem, it's probably one of my favorites.

When I Go To Meet God

Levi the Poet

When I go to meet God
I'm gonna have to be honest...
I'm gonna have to tell the truth
that not a day has gone by that I didn't doubt you.

You always said, "Don't grow up too fast,
you're just a boy",
but it's better to be in the house of sorrow than the house of joy,
and if I could have a heart like David, that reflects yours,
then what are the odds Solomon's sadness
might have creeped in somewhere to even the score?

Dear Dad, do you remember when I was always sad?
You and mom called it my "depressed year," and I know it was pretty bad...
What drives a child to want to give up everything he has?
What makes a person think that?
What makes a mother's son decide that death is better than tomorrow?
Inside of each and every breath that I "borrowed"
I held onto the sorrow and thought:

"I'll never be able to repay Jesus with the way that I live"
and now I'm thinking so much that I've screwed this all up
and I don't even know if you exist,

so I may as well not exist.

So when I come to meet you
I'm gonna have to be honest
I'm going to have to tell the truth
not one day has gone by that I haven't doubted you.

But I never told you both that I almost killed myself. I did.
I almost drove my car right off that highway bridge,
and as I picked up pace, prayed to God that he'd forgive me if I went through with it:
this is not a life worth living, I've already ruined it!

Mom, dad, sister, friends, family -
if I never see you again I hope you live out your lives happily.
Give my dog a kiss on the lips and all of my writings go to Isaac -
man, the one's about me and you are not meant to be kept in private.
Make them your own and write your songs to inspire the world the way I wish that I did...

Sister, you're beautiful, don't ever let them take that away.
Don't let yourself become just another face with no name.
Get to know Isaac better, you two can collaborate
(besides, your voice is way more beautiful than his has ever been, anyway)

Mom, I'm sorry the last time we talked, we fought...
I'm just so sick of pretending to be somebody that I'm not.
And years down the line when I am all but forgot, you were my last thought.

And to finish the note before I get up to go, dad, I'm sorry I kept all this pain inside -
this will hurt you more than anyone else.
When I breathe my last I will pray that you can forget your past in all of this
and try not to blame yourself...

I tried to find a reason to stay alive!
I love you all so very, very, very much...
goodbye.

God I'm coming to meet you now!
I suppose this decision doesn't display much trust, but
if you are real and really out there
then make me feel like I'm talking to something more than just the ceiling!
 
But dear mom, I'm getting better at writing happier things -
I know you'll never understand it but I'm attached to the sadness
and it rings true when I sing, and
there's a little bit of healing inside all of our suffering
as I have a savior that took up my suffering for me.
And as I drove down I-40 to collide with 25
I swear to God something beautiful came alive to me inside
and this little memory sparked a reason to risk life one more night:

on christmas morning I don't want my sister to wake up without her brother by her side!

TEAR ME TO PIECES, MY SWEET SUICIDE!
For to die is gain, and to live is Christ so I will make you the apple of my eye...

when I come to meet You,
I'm going to come complete, as You have completed me.
I'm going to come whole
and I would like to come happy...

Break Up

This poem is a conversation. My friend Kayla and I wrote it together. Writing and performing it was an interesting experience, even a fun one. Enjoy.

This is the once innocent girl

Who destroyed her whole world

Because of a simple but devastating choice

To ignore the warning from that small voice

In the back of her mind that told her

It would someday hurt and control her.

She didn't listen.

This isn't what I envisioned!

This life with you where I'm expect to cower down in submission? 

I have to leave; I've already made the decision.

Don't you understand that I own you now?

You can't leave, you're not allowed!

You used to act proud but I'm the one that put you on that cloud

That cloud now casts the darkest shadow,

And its acid rains have caused me sorrow

You've taken and destroyed everything I had

They warned me not to trust you, told me you were bad.

I was there when those same friends turned their backs on you.

Don't lie either, you know it's true

I was all you had to turn to

I made that decision, but it was a mistake

I realize that now and know what's at stake

My friends, family; my entire life's falling apart

And to know that I let you cause that breaks my heart

When I'm stressed, I feel yout apping on my shoulder

But I won't go back, back to the old her

Back to my old ways, back to those wasted days

You no longer have control.

Now I've found my way back,

Back to Him, who completes me where I lack.

Are you stupid? God isn't any higher

Than the highs I gave you that you used to admire

Liar!

I'm ashamed those events even transpired

You could never get me high enough to escape the eternal fire.

So I'm done, we're finished, my love for you has been replaced

With the love of God and his mercy and grace

But I thought we had something special?

Don't let your mind wander and your thoughts wrestle

You know I was there for you when you were down

When those supposed friends of yours were nowhere to be found

I brought you up when you were sad,

Honestly, don't you miss what we had?

No! What we had was nothing but bad

You gave me so much belief that you were my only relief

And I can't let myself rely on you anymore

You may have won a few battles, but I won the war

That's not the person I wanted to be, 

That's not the girl in the mirror I wanted to see!

You were there for me? No! You were not!

You hid my pain beneath the rot

And now I cannot, cannot be your slave, cannot be your toy

I stole all your precious joy

Joy is now all I seek

Seek happiness away from me, all you are is weak

In my weakness, God's strength is make perfect

Perfect? Turn away from me you'll be nothing but a reject

How could you steal the joy that I never had? My weakness was turning to you when things got bad

Perfection is the reflection of God within me

You're the reason my friends have rejected,

You're just not what I expected!

You've imprisoned me for far too long

I now know that you're nothing but wrong 

I will not believe your lies because Christ has heard my cries

Through Him I have the strength to fight

Destroy your darkness with my own light

Your poison no longer affects me!

Your hold is now beneath me!

So this is it! We're over! I don't need you to be someone,

To be good enough. Getting away from you may be hard, the path is rough.

But enough is enough! I've called your bluff.

This conversation is done.

My fight has been won.

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer. Psalm 19:14

-Danny

The Dragon

I didn't write this, so don't start getting all crazy or anything. I just appreciated this story and thought I'd share it, as well as save it for a rainy day read.


The Dragon

There was once a great and noble King whose land was terrorized by a crafty dragon. Like a massive bird of prey, the scaly beast delighted in ravaging villages with his fiery breath. Hapless victims ran from their burning homes, only to be snatched into the dragon's jaws or talons. Those devoured instantly were deemed more fortunate than those carried back to the dragon's lair to be devoured at his leisure. The King led his sons and knights in many valiant battles against the dragon. Riding alone in the forest, one of the King's sons heard his name purred low and soft. In the shadows of the ferns and trees, curled among the boulders, lay the dragon. The creature's heavy-lidded eyes fastened on the prince, and the reptilian mouth stretched into a friendly smile. "Don't be alarmed," said the dragon, as gray wisps of smoke rose lazily from his nostrils.

"I am not what your father thinks." "What are you, then?" asked the prince, warily drawing his sword as he pulled in the reins to keep his fearful horse from bolting. "I am pleasure," said the dragon. "Ride on my back and you will experience more than you ever imagined. Come now. I have no harmful intentions. I seek a friend, someone to share flights with me. Have you never dreamed of flying? Never longed to soar in the clouds?" Visions of soaring high above the forested hills drew the prince hesitantly from his horse. The dragon unfurled one great webbed wing to serve as a ramp to his ridged back. Between the spiny projections, the prince found a secure seat. Then the creature snapped his powerful wings twice and launched them into the sky. The prince's apprehension melted into awe and exhilaration.

From then on, he met the dragon often, but secretly, for how could he tell his father, brothers or the knights that he had befriended the enemy? The prince felt separate from them all. Their concerns were no longer his concerns. Even when he wasn't with the dragon, he spent less time with those he loved and more time alone. The skin on the prince's legs became calloused from gripping the ridged back of the dragon, and his hands grew rough and hardened. He began wearing gloves to hide the malady. After many nights of riding, he discovered scales growing on the backs of his hands as well. With dread he realized his fate were he to continue, and so he resolved to return no more to the dragon.

But, after a fortnight, he again sought out the dragon, having been tormented with desire. And so it transpired many times over. No matter what his determination, the prince eventually found himself pulled back, as if by the cords of an invisible web. Silently, patiently, the dragon always waited.

One cold, moonless night their excursion became a foray against a sleeping village. Torching the thatched roofs with fiery blasts from his nostrils, the dragon roared with delight when the terrified victims fled from their burning homes. Swooping in, the serpent belched again and flames engulfed a cluster of screaming villages. The prince closed his eyes tightly in an attempt to shut out the carnage.

In the pre dawn hours, when the prince crept back from his dragon trysts, the road outside his father's castle usually remained empty. But not tonight. Terrified refugees streamed into the protective walls of the castle. The prince attempted to slip through the crowd to close himself in his chambers, but some of the survivors stared and pointed toward him.

"He was there," one woman cried out, "I saw him on the back of the dragon." Others nodded their heads in angry agreement. Horrified, the prince saw that his father, the King, was in the courtyard holding a bleeding child in his arms. The King's face mirrored the agony of his people as his eyes found the prince's. The son fled, hoping to escape into the night, but the guards apprehended him as if he were a common thief. They brought him to the great hall where his father sat solemnly on the throne. The people on every side railed against the prince. "Banish him!" he heard one of his own brothers angrily cry out. "Burn him alive!" other voices shouted.

As the king rose from his throne, bloodstains from the wounded shone darkly on his royal robes. The crowd fell silent in expectation of his decree. The prince, who could not bear to look into his father's face, stared at the flagstones of the floor.

"Take off your gloves and your tunic," the King commanded. The prince obeyed slowly, dreading to have his metamorphosis uncovered before the kingdom. Was his shame not already enough? He had hoped for a quick death without further humiliation. Sounds of revulsion rippled through the crowd at the sight of the prince's thick, scaled skin and the ridge growing along his spine.

The king strode toward his son, and the prince steeled himself, fully expecting a back handed blow even though he had never been struck so by his father.

Instead, his father embraced him and wept as he held him tightly. In shocked disbelief, the prince buried his face against his father's shoulder.

"Do you wish to be freed from the dragon, my son?" The prince answered in despair, "I wished it many times, but there is no hope for me."

"Not alone," said the King. "You cannot win against the dragon alone."

"Father, I am no longer your son. I am half beast," sobbed the prince. But his father replied, "My blood runs in your veins. My nobility has always been stamped deep within your soul."

With his face still hidden tearfully in his father's embrace, the prince heard the King instruct the crowd, "The dragon is crafty. Some fall victim to his wiles and some to his violence. There will be mercy for all who wish to be freed. Who else among you has ridden the dragon?" The prince lifted his head to see someone emerge from the crowd. To his amazement, he recognized an older brother, one who had been lauded throughout the kingdom for his onslaughts against the dragon in battle and for his many good deeds. Others came, some weeping, others hanging their heads in shame.

The King embraced them all. "This is our most powerful weapon against the dragon," he announced. "Truth. No more hidden flights. Alone we cannot resist him!

Who, Me?

What's up with that? I vaguely remember that shirt... how weird. That awkward moment when childhood photos suggest you were a little boy instead of a girl. Yes, this is me, and yes, I am now and always have been a girl. I just preferred to play with Tonka trucks.